It’s Time To Talk About

Domestic violence is a disturbingly common reality for far too many people...yes, even here in Western Oklahoma.

What is domestic violence? The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as “the willful intimidation, physical assault, batter, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional/psychological abuse. The frequency and severity of the domestic violence varies dramatically.”

I decided to do an internet search for some relevant domestic violence statistics while preparing to write this column. I was shocked at the frequency in which domestic violence occurs and the severity of what I found:

According to National Domestic Violence Hotline statistics, more than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 4 men in the United States have experience rape, physical violence and/or by an intimate partner in their lifetime. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 59 men in the United States have been raped during his/her lifetime. 19.3 million women and 5.1 million men in the United States have been stalked.

According to the 2019 Annual Report of Domestic Violence Homicide in Oklahoma, there were 82 domestic violence homicide cases in Oklahoma in 2018, leading to the death of 88 victims. 50% of the perpetrators were intimate partners, while 42% were family members of the victim.

Mind you, these statistics are from cases that were reported. No one can be sure what the actual numbers are because far more cases are estimated to go unreported each year.

Many of us were taught not to talk about this issues and to mind our own business. The secrecy and stigma associated with domestic abuse is exactly the factors that allow such violence to continue. Speak up! Check on your neighbor if you can do so safely, report abuse when you see it. You may just save someone’s life.

If you need help, and can safely do so, reach out to local agencies, law enforcement, or The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or www.TheHotline.org.

This is an ongoing series by Sarah Mears-Ivy regarding substance use disorders and the social and legal issues stemming from them. Sarah knows a thing or two about addiction and recovery. Daughter, sister, and friend to many wonderful people who have battled substance use disorder, codependency, and mental health stigma. Survivor. Advocate for those who are not yet ready to fight alone.