Commandment #7: Do not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14) When I was young and attending our church’s catechism class, I had to memorize the Ten Commandments. I encountered a word I didn’t know, so I asked my parents, “What does adultery mean?” They looked at each other and said, “Should we tell him?” They never told me.
I have since learned that the Bible has three meanings for the word adultery. The first meaning, the one my parents didn’t want to tell me, is sexual relations between a married person and a person other than their spouse. The fact God made this one of the “Thou shalt nots” of the Ten Commandments, shows that he views this behavior as a serious sin, but the reason it is so serious is better explained in the second meaning.
The second meaning of this commandment has to do with “fidelity”: fidelity to our spouse, and fidelity to our wedding vows. When a groom and bride stand before the altar and each say, “I do,” they are also saying “I don’t” to everyone else. For me, though I may work with or be friends with members of the opposite sex, at night I go home with Jean. We remain faithful to our wedding vows.
The Bible views marriage as a covenant relationship. A covenant is a formal agreement between two parties, or, in the case of marriage, between two persons. A covenant involves mutual commitments to the other person. The Seventh Commandment tells us that God is watching and he cares that we abide by the marriage covenant. If a wife commits adultery, she abandons the companion of her youth and violates the covenant she made before God (Proverbs 2:17). If a husband commits adultery, he violates his covenant with the wife of his youth (Malachi 2:14). Proverbs describes adultery as equivalent to clutching fire to one’s chest, the result being that one’s clothes get burned, with the result that he destroys himself. Adultery is not just harmful for a marriage, it is harmful for the adulterers (Proverbs 6:25-29; 32). Jesus warned us that adultery, like murder, begins in the heart. Purity on the outside begins with purity on the inside.
Solomon offered a better alternative to adultery: “to take pleasure in the wife of your youth, a loving doe, a graceful fawn…be lost in her love forever” (Proverbs 5:1819). This passage shows that the Bible does not view sex as sinful, at least in the proper context. It treats sex as sacred, to be shared with one’s spouse within marriage. Solomon also wrote, “Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life, which has been given you under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
These verses give a positive expression to the Seventh Commandment, instead of “Thou shalt not…,” they tell us “Thou shalt…” We should enjoy life with our spouse, and we should remain faithful to the vows we made to each other.
But there is a third meaning to the Seventh Commandment: marriage is a picture of our covenant relationship with God. Just as husband and wife are united in a covenant relationship, so God’s people are united by covenant with Yahweh. In the Old Testament God was Israel’s husband. In the New Testament the church is the bride of Christ. These are metaphors which tell us that we are “married” to God. There are three similarities between a marriage covenant and the covenant we have with God.
First, both covenants are based on commitment: When a couple says to each other, “I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/ wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward” they are making a lifetime commitment. And, in a similar way, God initiated his covenant with Israel by vowing “I will be your God and you shall be my people” (Leviticus 26:12). Both kinds of covenants are based on commitment.
Second, both covenants are based on love. At the beginning of a marriage the word “love” usually means romantic feelings: “I love you.” But Martin Luther said that romance is the worst reason to get married because it is an emotion, and emotions change. In every marriage there will be difficult times when the marriage will only survive based on forgiveness rather than on feelings. Love in marriage is based on an unchanging commitment, even when feelings fade. Billy Graham said that the secret of a good marriage is two good forgivers. In a similar way, God loves his covenant people, even when that love will require his forgiveness. Hosea described God’s love for Israel like this, “I will take you to be my wife forever, I will take you to be my wife in righteousness, justice, love, and compassion.” “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned away from them.” (Hosea 3:19; 14:4).
Finally, both covenants are based on exclusivity. In marriage and in faith, we make exclusive commitments: I commit myself to you and you alone. In a marriage, adultery violates the wedding vows. In our relationship with God, idolatry violates the covenant. Adultery and idolatry are basically the same kind of sin.
The book of Hebrews summarizes this commandment: “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4).
Greg Giles is a published author, who, along with his wife Jean, has embraced the call to serve and teach around the globe. Their life together has included missionary work in Liberia, Bangladesh, teaching in China, and raising a family in Bemidji, Minnesota. Between global travels and local commitments, including serving as superintendent of Corn Bible Academy and their current part-time roles at Corn Heritage Village, the Gileses have found “home” in many places; yet, they now happily reside in retirement in Cordell.