January is the month I attribute to honoring women, and I am dedicating this week’s article to the women who have given me so much in which to aspire.
I had the distinct pleasure of being raised by what my mind has assigned “a tribe of warrior women.” My mother is one of nine sisters, and those sisters are the most peculiar and admirable group of strong, sassy, and funny women.
Those women raised one another’s children, supported one another when down and out, and rallied when catastrophe would inevitably strike. Though decreasing in numbers due to several of them passing, the remaining numbers are still a force I am often in awe of.
I accidentally dubbed them,“The Unta” during a misspelled text I sent awhile back when I meant to send a text saying, “The Aunts are here.” The misspelled text announced, “The Unta are here.” I laughed and told them, and they agreed that The Unta shall now be their collective name.
When my sweet dad died this fall, five of them made a four-hour drive to be with my mother during what would be his last hours, and the chaotic, grief-stained days that followed. They cooked, cleaned, and provided constant support for her in ways I could not. They brought a spirit to the event for which I can hardly assign words. They surrounded her with their love and helped her laugh and remember all of the things about my dad that grief and pain had dimmed.
I recall several aunts raising me for weeks at a time during my childhood when my biological father would be out of work or on a bender.
I remember another teaching me to laugh even when my heart hurt too much to bear the concept of laughing. Another taught me that the love of her family, her sisters, is truly the biggest blessing, and continues to coordinate the sisters in the most epic of ways. Others showed me how to survive the worst of life--death, divorce, adultery, abuse, poverty--and to flourish despite such circumstances.
These women garden and preserve their harvests, sew and make quilts, paint, cook the best food, and above all, they know how to laugh and celebrate life’s victories. They demonstrate resilience and the human spirit.
While I do not have sisters, I have found a group of women--a clan of wild and wind-blown, beautiful, smart, kind women--to help me navigate this messy life. They are a pool of knowledge and strength. They provide perspective and support, and are often hilarious.
In them, I have found my Unta, my warrior tribe. They surround me when I am weak, remind me to have fun, and help me laugh. They love me when I feel unlovable and support me in my endeavors. They accept my vulnerabilities and allow me to shine for who I am. My secrets are safe with them. I do my best to return those sacred gifts.
Find your sisters and love them hard. Also, a hearty salute to The Unta, who have descended on my small town to visit my mother and bring much needed laughter to her home.
Sarah Mears-Ivy brings 13 years of experience in the field of human sciences and advocacy.