The Holiday season: Be mindful of stress

It seems the passing of Halloween marks the beginning of the holiday season frenzy. I know this holiday season may be a bit different than seasons past because of COVID-19, but I imagine folks will find time and ways to celebrate.

This seems to be a good opportunity to urge folks to plan for safety and wellness during the holiday season.

I have noticed—and I’m sure this is no surprise to—that the holidays bring with them additional stress.

That stress may lead to feelings of depression or anxiety, there may be painful reminders of grief, loss, and trauma, and it also might be a time of increased consumption of substances in order to cope with all of the feelings we experience during the holidays.

Anecdotally, it seems as though I hear more about cases of domestic violence, mental health crises and suicidal ideation/attempts/completion, and DUI arrests during the holidays as a result of all of the above.

I felt moved this week to talk about protecting ourselves during the upcoming holiday season by doing some planning:

First up, do not drink (or do drugs!) and drive. Find a designated driver, or stay home and do not operate your vehicle for any reason if you have consumed intoxicating substances.

You will save thousands in legal fees and loads of emotional pain and embarrassment by simply not operating or having control of a vehicle while intoxicated.

Choosing not to drink and drive saves lives— those of other motorists and pedestrians as well as your own life. Plan ahead, arrange a safe ride, assign a designated driver, or hire someone to give you a ride if you must.

Second, sometimes people do not mix well. Friends and family can push our buttons.

We love them, but sometimes we just cannot get along. That interpersonal stress can result in domestic violence or assault and battery, especially when substances are involved. Avoid those people that cause you stress, pain, or conflict during the holidays. Make other plans, start a new tradition, reach out to your support group, politely decline an invitation, or just plain old “show up missing” to stressful holiday gatherings that may increase your unease. As Cordell’s resident super-introvert, I encourage you to use the pandemic as smart and easy excuse to avoid tedious gatherings that bring more stress than joy.

And lastly, Self-Care. The financial and personal stress we experience during the holidays does not have to define the holidays; rather, I encourage you to make smart choices when it comes to holiday spending (you’ll thank yourself come December 26) and to make time for yourself. Make and stick to a holiday budget. Celebrate the things that truly matter rather than indulging in material items and empty traditions that no longer satisfy you.

As mentioned above, start new traditions that are meaningful to you. Engage in experiences rather than buying stuff. Donate if you can. Volunteer to help those in need.

Remember to take a few moments each day just for you to sit, breathe, and enjoy the life you have built.

I plan to spend my holiday season with friends and family building new traditions, remembering the people I have lost, celebrating the life I have left, and doing the utmost to take care of my physical and mental health. Please remember that while the upcoming holiday season is full of unknowns, you do have some control over how you choose to spend your money, time, and emotional energy. Happy upcoming holiday season to you and yours!

Sarah Mears-Ivy brings 12 years of experience in the field of human sciences and advocacy.