Before earlier this year, I cared what people thought about me. I always thought that I had to be the strong person and that I couldn’t talk about my feelings in public. I thought that because I didn’t want other people to look at me differently. I wouldn’t take my shirt off when swimming because of being overweight. I let the thoughts of others control my life and looking back, I always have. I wanted to be accepted so I’ve tried diets, I’ve tried to hold my feelings in, I’ve let people use me, and I’ve let “friends” dictate if I was enough as a person.
All of that came to an end here recently. My best friend’s son committed suicide in early March, and it was devastating to hear about. A young man that had everything you could ever want.
A person that you would see helping others and always wore a smile on his face. I met him on a Thursday and left on a Sunday morning.
When I was saying my goodbyes the night before, he gave me the biggest hug.
He had known me for two days and was hugging me bye.
That was the kind of person he was. He was also the kind of man that didn’t want anyone else to feel sorry for him or to know he was hurting. He said in his letter that he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone.
His dad and I were talking early last week about another young girl in Iowa committing suicide. I asked what we need to change in life so that people know it’s okay to talk about these things. The answer is something that I know a lot of people don’t want to change. The solution is something that people can’t help until they’ve been on the side of struggle or felt like they were alone in life. The answer, the solution, is just being open to the hard conversations. Listening to people and being there for them. Not out casting them because they are having issues. Not letting your kids hang out with the kid that has a mental illness or a kid that is just struggling. How about we teach our kids and ourselves that it’s okay to not be, okay? How about we learn how to get people help when you see that they are struggling? Instead of putting them on a blacklist and never speaking to them again or waiting until they are done struggling.
So many times, we see someone and think a negative thought. It’s normal for humanity. Things like: that person is overweight, that person drives a trashy vehicle, that mom isn’t a good mom because she is having a break down, that man is talking about his feelings when he’s supposed to be strong, or that kids shoes are old so his parents must not care. The stigmas of the world go on and on. All we want as people is to feel wanted, accepted for who we are, and for people to not judge us when we go against the “way it’s supposed to be”. PEOPLE ARE TRYING! HELP THEM! It takes nothing to be a good person and be there for someone. It takes one breath to ask someone, “Are you okay?” and another breath to say, “You’re not alone!”. I promise, you’d want the same thing done for you!
If no one has told you lately that you’re loved, you’re enough, and you’re not alone… ..I’m here to tell you that now!
Until next time!