Relapse is a reality for many who have loved ones that have struggled with substance use disorder or who themselves have battled addiction. Family members, friends, colleagues, community members, and former clients are among the long list of folks I have encountered that have sought help for substance use disorder, found recovery, and then ended up going back to active substance use. Some have regained their footing and recovered, some have drifted away, and others have unfortunately died. All of them are important people fighting a terrible disease.
Relapse happens when the person who was in recovery returns to substance use. Here are a few signs that can alert us to relapse:
Increased isolation: The person begins to “show up missing.” They spend more time alone and miss family and social gatherings, work, and recovery meetings. They pull away from those that support recovery and either spend time alone or find themselves fraternizing with the same people that they used with. They begin to neglect their obligations.
Denial: The person begins to deny just how important it is to continue work on their recovery. They stop doing the things that kept them well. They may begin to hang out with the same old people, doing the same things they were doing while they were using, and going to the same places in which they used. They may engage in “euphoric recall,” a phenomenon in which they forget about the negative parts of their addiction and instead focus on the more positive memories associated with their substance use.
Stress: The person begins to struggle with stress symptoms due to no longer engaging in self-care and recovery activi ties. They begin to have trouble coping with stressors and begin to get overwhelmed and frustrated.
Structure: The recovery lifestyle they built begins to erode. They no longer abide by the routines that helped them stay sober. Sleep and eating habits change, they may abandon meetings and therapy, stop meditating, stop journaling--whatever tools and daily habits they had to stay well begin to vanish. The person who is relapsing will report feeling bored in recovery and will abandon the structure they have built in their recovery.
Sometimes, personal finances start to get strained, they may lie to loved ones about big and little things, hygiene may change, and they may gain or lose weight.
What can we do to help? Let them know you are concerned. You can also encourage them to attend self-help meetings and therapy, set firm boundaries with them (such as refusing to give them money or not allowing them to be around you if they are intoxicated), and offer support if they are willing to talk about their situation. If they are using opiates, be sure to have Narcan available to be administered in case of overdose. Narcan is available free of cost from many opioid response teams and mental health agencies.
Please know that people can and do return from relapse. The good news is many folks have better luck the next time they decide to enter into recovery after relapse because they have the experience of the relapse to help them better make decisions the next go round.
There is help available in Western Oklahoma. There are self-help groups in even the smallest towns and there are quality mental health agencies that will help regardless of ability to pay. Recovery is hard work, but it is worth it.
Sarah Mears-Ivy brings 13 years of experience in the field of human sciences and advocacy.